I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
