I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
