Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
