so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
