Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
