I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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