i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize