dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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