The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
