I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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