I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
