This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
