Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize