summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
