i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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