I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
But break dance skills will only take you so far
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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