i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
