She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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