tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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