Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
