i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
