That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Life is so much better after having sex.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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