Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
