Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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