i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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