That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
