So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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