Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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