I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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