I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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