No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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