he puts the penis in happiness.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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