You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize