OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
