lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
