Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
