Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
