Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.

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(256): View more from Alabama

She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.

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(214): View more from Texas

does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??

(817): View more from Texas

dude, everything can mix, this is college.

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(847): View more from Illinois

after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."

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(863): View more from Florida

I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?

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(630): View more from Illinois

If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.

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(415): View more from California

I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.

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