i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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