I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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