It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
