I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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