Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
