she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
