If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
