So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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