After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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