just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
