I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize