I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
