super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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