I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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