That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
