So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
