Your face is a jimmy john
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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