so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
